How Creativity Can Become Suffering

In 2013, I started writing music and posting it online. I was just a teenager with a dream and a lot of free time. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was doing it. Now, I can't even listen to my own music without feeling anxious.

The Creative Spark

When I first started making music, it was pure joy. It'd spend hours in my room, experimenting with different sounds, writing lyrics that felt meaningful to me. There was no pressure, no expectations - just the thrill of creating something from nothing.

The Double-Edged Sword of Sharing

Posting my music online opened up a whole new world. Suddenly, I had an audience. Some people loved what I was doing, and their encouragement was intoxicating. But with visibility came criticism, and I wasn't prepared for how much it would affect me.

The Pressure Builds

As I gained more followers, I felt an increasing pressure to produce. What started as a fun hobby became a source of stress. It'd agonize over every note, every lyric, worried about how it would be received. The joy of creation was slowly being replaced by anxiety.

Losing the Love

Eventually, I reached a point where I couldnt't even listen to my own music without feeling a knot in my stomach. The very thing that once brought me so much happiness had become a source of suffering. I was creating not for myself, but for an imagined audience that I could never fully satisfy.

The Path to Healing

Recognizing this unhealthy relationship with my creativity was the first step towards healing. I had to learn to separate my self-worth from the reception of my art. It's been a journey of rediscovering why I started making music in the first place - for the love of it, not for validation.

How Lotus Can Help

This experience inspired the creation of Lotus. We designed it to be a companion for creatives, artists, and anyone struggling with the pressures of sharing their work. Lotus offers:

• Mindful Creativity Sessions: Guided exercises to help you reconnect with your creative spark.
• Emotional Support: A safe space to process feelings of anxiety or self-doubt about your work.
• Healthy Goal Setting: Help in setting realistic creative goals that prioritize your well-being.
• Affirmation Practices: Daily reminders of your inherent worth, separate from your creative output.
• Stress Relief Techniques: Tools to manage the anxiety that can come with sharing your work.

Remember, your creativity is a gift - both to yourself and to the world. It's okay to share it, but not at the cost of your mental health and enjoyment. Let Lotus be your companion in this journey, supporting you as you navigate the complex emotions that come with being a creator.

Together, we can rediscover the joy in your creative process.